No respect for the elderly

There was no respect for youth when I was young, and now that I am old, there is no respect for age - I missed it coming and going.

Senior Citizen's Gone Wild

I wanted to share a fun article with my readers that was sent to me by Gina LaGuardia, Editorial Director of Seniors For Living. It's entitled: "Seniors Citizens Gone Wild: YouTube Doesn't Lie..."

If you have a preconceived notion of senior citizens plopping their drooping derrieres into antique rockers, staring at the wall like contemplative Buddhas all wrapped up in crocheted blankets, think again. Thanks to the somewhat vain democracy of YouTube, a different vision of human aging is out there for all to see. When you take a look, it's easy to see that these wild and crazy seniors have a big problem with the concept of acting their age. We say “good for them!” See for yourself… CLICK HERE.

Sammy Barack Obama joins the Rat Pack

Geezers In Office

This is the latest edition to my websites political page "Geezer's In Office.

Grandma's Sex Talk

Little Tony was 9 years old and was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her, 'Grandma, what's that called when two people sleep in the same room and one is on top of the other?' She was a little taken aback, but she decided to tell him the truth. 'It's called sexual intercourse, darling.' Little Tony said, 'Oh, OK,' and went back outside to play with the other kids. A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, 'Grandma, it isn't called sexual intercourse. It's called Bunk Beds. And Jimmy's mum wants to talk to you.'

I Hate Young People

Visit: http://richcollier.com/IHateYoungPeople/videos.html to watch more videos like this.

A Happy Thanksgiving To All

Last Thanksgiving, I had my chance to do the traditional thing of shooting my own turkey. Man, you should have seen the people scatter in the meat department.

When everyone at the table takes turns saying what they are thankful for, say, “I'm thankful I didn't get caught,” and refuse to say anything more.

Just thinking out loud.

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

There is a great need for a sarcasm font.

Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

The $2.99 Special

We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the 'seniors' special' was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $2.99.
'Sounds good,' my wife said. 'But I don't want the eggs.'
'Then, I'll have to charge you three dollars and forty-nine cents because you're ordering a la carte,' the waitress warned her.
'You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?' my wife asked incredulously.
'YES!!' stated the waitress.
'I'll take the special then,' my wife said.
'How do you want your eggs?' the waitress asked.
'Raw and in the shell,' my wife replied. She took the two eggs home and baked a cake.

Safe Sex For Seniors

I Don't Remember This Movie?

Remember Hollywood Squares

These great questions and answers are from the days when 'Hollywood Squares' game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.. (IT IS HARD TO BELIEVE THAT THE LINES WERE NOT SCRIPTED… IF THEY WEREN’T, THEY WERE TRULY COMIC GENISES)

Q. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?

A. Paul Lynde (About fifteen minutes later): Loneliness!

And the audience laughed for another 10 to 15 minutes.

Q. Do female frogs croak?

A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?

A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.

A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?

A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?

A. Rose Marie: No wait until morning.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?

A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'?

A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?

A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?

A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?

A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?

A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?

A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?

A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?

A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?

A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?

A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?

A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?

A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?

A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?

A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh